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MATCH REPORTS 2011 (Click on the match to go directly to the report)

Nepotists v Barnes   (Report by Steve "Wezza" Werren)   02 May 2011

Nepotists v Harrow St. Mary's   (Report by Steve "Wezza" Werren)   08 May 2011

Nepotists v Hampton Wick   (Report by Steve "Wezza" Werren)   08 May 2011

Nepotists v Highgate   (Report by Steve "Wezza" Werren)   30 May 2011

Nepotists v South Hampstead   (Report by Steve "Wezza" Werren)   06 Jun 2011

Nepotists v Teddington   (Report by Steve "Wezza" Werren)   19 Jun 2011

Nepotists v Old Manorians   (Report by Steve "Wezza" Werren)   26 Jun 2011

Nepotists v Ealing Wanderers   (Report by Steve "Wezza" Werren)   03 Jul 2011

Nepotists v Northfields   (Report by Steve "Wezza" Werren)   10 Jul 2011

Nepotists v Harrow Weald   (Report by Steve "Wezza" Werren)   24 Jul 2011

ISIS Tournament, Oxford   (Report by Steve "Wezza" Werren)   21 Aug 2011

Twenty20 Big Bash, Chiswick   (Report by Steve "Wezza" Werren)   04 Sep 2011

Season Summary 2011   (Report by Steve "Wezza" Werren)    04 Sep 2011
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Nepotists v Barnes   (Report by Steve "Wezza" Werren)   02 May 2011

The Nepotists, with what was considered to be one of their strongest line-ups for quite a while, suffered an unexpected defeat at the hands of Barnes yesterday in SW London. (Team photo) The Nepo's excellent batting line up plundered a very strong Barnes attack for 236 runs, which on most days would be considered a winning score. However the Barnes even stronger batting line up re-plundered the unlucky Nepo bowlers back, to comfortably pass the Nepo score with overs to spare. So in summary, we were stuffed!

Stars with the bat were debutant opener Qasim Syed (now to be known as Simcard) with an outstanding 71, Kiwi all-rounder Chris Ellegard 45, Carl 'the rock' Hoar 40, and Shana Khan on debut with an entertaining pinch hitting innings of 30 runs off 2 balls. On the bowling side, it never really happened, especially with 4 catches going down to top order batsmen (we won't mention 'that one' Nehal), but it was still good to see that great Nepo tradition kept alive.

But special mention goes to 6'5" Kiwi debutant James Culley, who bowled his heart out with no luck. So it has been decided by the committee that he must reduce his height to bring him in line with other Nepotists requirements. Next game he has been warned that it is important he bowl leg side long hops, off a lazy short run up, and keep his height down to 5'10". Otherwise he will be forced by the hierarchy to wear the NACA jacket and hat backwards, while bowling blindfolded, with a medium to large size Tesco curvy carrot surgically implanted up his 'orse'. Standard Nepotists practice for non conformers. (Scorecard)

This week we are up against a new addition to the fixture list in the way of Harrow St Mary's. This is the club I originally played for when I arrived on these shores many years ago, but was subsequently banned for life for accidentally eating the 'tea lady' during a feeding frenzy in my 4th match, (there just wasn't enough there). That life ban has now expired, as they re-considered my current situation and decided that I actually have 'no life' to speak of, so am now back in the fold.

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Nepotists v Harrow St. Mary's   (Report by Steve "Wezza" Werren)   08 May 2011

The Nepotists got their season off to a winning way yesterday with a comprehensive thumping of new fixture list entrant, Harrow St. Mary's. After heavy overnight rains and a switch to an alternate pitch (and I mean very alternate), the Nepotists were sent in to bat on a damp uneven wicket. A score of 150 would look difficult to chase down, but the Nepo's dug in deep to pile up 216-8, to put them in the box seat heading into tea. The 2nd innings was short and sweet with the Nepo bowlers doing a demolition job on the Harrow lads and bowling them out for just 130 in 29 overs - so well done gang. On a side note, the Harrow team were a great bunch of guys with a fantastic bar area, and definitely a fixture worth keeping (as long as we keep beating them, otherwise they're out).

With a few 'Colts' making up the numbers for Harrow, mumblings were running rife through the team as to why Bomber Dale wasn't playing. With the great man from Melbourne being the 12yr old abuse king, and the only Nepotist to date to have an opposition refuse to play if he played, the current Nepotists, realising they will probably have to face these guys in a few more years when they a bigger and have learned what 'revenge' is all about, took the decision not to scar these kids for life - which as we know is Bomber's specialty. Flashback moment: Who can forget that memorable day at Shamley Green, when unwisely a 12yr old opted not to walk after edging behind to one of Bombers quicker balls, which clocked in at 45km per day. The tirade of abuse from Bomber (who by the way is President of www.nof*ckingwayimwalking.org) ended with an enraged father exploding onto the field with a cricket bat and attempting to cover drive Bomber to the boundary. But luckily Bomber's 4 day un-showered state had all the necessary ingredients to unwittingly set up a regulation 'Romulan force field' around him, to propel the intruder. Those were the days.

Anyway, back to the match. The 4 new debutants showed the regular members of the team how it should be done, with Merwin Fernando 70, Nilesh Thacker 41no, and Andrew Nisbet 32, leading the way with the bat, backed up by Welshman Ed Greening with his Muralie type action taking 4-38, while all the time being continually no-balled by fellow spinner Nilesh Naidu. The Nepotists at this stage of the season seem blessed with a overabundance of batting talent, which looks good for the coming weeks before the big exodus.

Controversy engulfed the Nepotists camp during the NACA nominations when on debut, Nilesh Thacker, who had earlier phoned  in lost, attempted to avoid paying West End cabbie Coal Hoar the correct fare when Carl drove to the Harrow ground turn off point to lead the way for Nilesh to the oval. Nilesh's name is now on the 'banned' list in Central London. This of course was after everyone else had found the ground with ease. But Nilesh unfortunately didn't notice the Harrow St. Mary's 30 metre square, brightly painted sign, with laser beams flashing in all directions, and a 'go-go-gadget' hand continually cutting across the road pointing to the turn off. Luckily for Nilesh, Andrew Nisbet's leg spreading with a giant hole in the crutch of his strides for all and sundry to see during the NACA nominations, was good enough to take the prestigious award away from him. (Scorecard)

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Nepotists v Hampton Wick   (Report by Steve "Wezza" Werren)   15 May 2011

ANOTHER NEPOTISTS WORLD RECORD FALLS BY THE WAYSIDE

For the second time in two seasons a Nepotists World Record has been broken. Yesterday in one of the all time great comebacks in Nepo history, the team pulled off a remarkable win at Hampton Wick, that ebbed and flowed from the first ball. A World Record unbroken last wicket partnership of 86 runs between Nilesh Naidu 73no & Steve Werren 32no allowed the Nepo's to chalk up there 2nd win of the season. The previous last wicket record of 47 (Jerry Mitchell 11no & Rik Andrew 22) set at Shepperton way back in 1994 was almost doubled; and not being around 17 years ago, we can only assume that back in those days, they played cricket without wickets and fieldsmen, if Mr Rik can score 22 runs! (World Records)

This momentous win at the same time propelled the Nepo's to the top of the table after only 3 rounds, and it is certainly going to be very difficult for any of the other teams to knock us off top spot.

 

 TEAM

 PTS

 

 Nepotists

   4

 

 Barnes

   2

 

 Harrow St. Mary's

   0

 

 Hampton Wick

   0

 

 Northwood

   0

 

 South Hampstead

   0

 

 Ealing Wanderers

   0

 

 Teddington

   0

 

 Old Manorians

   0

 

 Northfields

   0

 

 Epsom

   0

 

 Shepperton

   0

 

 Rotten Livers

   0

 

 Nine Bar

   0

 

 Post Modernist

   0

 

 Hampstead

   0

With the Nepo's winning the toss, and in a tactical move, deciding to bowl first at the request of the fast bowlers (so they could 'pig out' on the marvellous Hampton Wick tea), and with the usual supply of only nine players on the pitch for the first over, play commenced. During the 4th over we couldn't help but notice a forlorn figure in the distance dragging a humungous kit bag through the woods of Bushy Park. Three overs later, once at the ground, we found out it was our new English debutant Jim Eaton, who claimed he had mistakenly read the directions off the website to the Teddington ground (where we play in 2 weeks) and had found himself about a mile or so from Hampton Wick. How he did this I will never know, as there are no directions to Teddington on the website yet - Poms!

Anyway, the Nepo bowlers got to work taking apart the oppo, and at one stage had them at 5-93, but Hampton Wick (having hacked into the Nepo email account during the week and seen the squad, were fueled on by the thought of the impending Nepo batsmen savaging them in the second innings) fought back well to be all out for 238. Maybe the 7 dropped catches helped a little bit as well. All the bowlers had good spells, but the star was definitely Kiwi paceman Chris Ellegard, with probably his best 'spell' for the club, bagging 3 valuable wickets, but more importantly winning the annual Hampton Wick 'spelling bee' in the process and keeping the trophy at Nepo headquarters.

There was one other noticeable incident during the 1st innings, when 2nd game Nepotists, Nilesh Thacker, who had left the field for some reason in the previous over, decided it was time to come back onto the field midway during the next over when he saw the ball speeding towards the boundary. Casually he stepped onto the field, picked up the ball just inside the rope and threw it back to the bowler. There was silence on the pitch as we all glanced at each other mumbling "is that allowed?" With our best 'puppy dog' eyes, there were sly sideways glances at the oppo skipper, who was umpiring at the time, to see if 5 penalty runs would be called. While he was thinking about it, we got Jim to quickly bowl the next ball before a call could be made. So good thinking by Nilesh, and a brilliant move that we'll try to incorporate into each match from now on. The Nepo's certainly are a progressive club.

After tea, the Nepo's powerhouse batting line-up went out to quickly knock off the formidable total ,so we could get back into the clubhouse bar where they were showing re-runs from the first season of 'Keeping Up With The Kardashians ', which is always a Nepo favourite. Unfortunately the powerhouse batting line-up looked more like 'Battersea Power House' after the 'Blitz' in WW2. With both openers being bowled in the first over, then the score quickly tumbling to 6-58, and worse still to 8-99, the barmen in the clubhouse was quickly scurrying back inside to set up the bar for what he thought would be his biggest take of the season, with the Nepotists reputation preceding them. He also told us during the tea break that he had just recently found some old 'super 3' film footage of an earlier Nepo fixture at the ground dating back to 1872, which featured the ancestors of the original 1980 Nepotists engaging in unabated incest behind the pavilion (which apparently was used as the 'pilot' for that great 1972 romantic/comedy 'Deliverance'), and planned to show that to us as well. We were all really looking forward to that after a few beers.

With things seeming grim, and Chris Ellegard knocking up a classy 47 runs, being the only batsmen to offer any resistance to the hostile bowling attack at that stage, the skipper was being unfairly lampooned for his earlier grandiose email remarks proclaiming it to be the best Nepo batting line up in recent years, and surely facing the NACA. Then out to the pitch strode 2nd game Aussie Nepotist Andrew Nisbet, who as mentioned in last week's match report is an all or nothing type player. Well he didn't disappoint, and hit another entertaining 23, which included a gigantic '6' out of the park for his first scoring shot, which broke the windshield on Jim Eaton's car located at the Teddington ground a mile away. Andrew, along with Nilesh Naidu (who suddenly in the last 12 months has become a run machine and one of the Nepo's most reliable batsmen at the moment) put on a top class partnership for the 9th wicket of 54 runs to give the score some semblance of respectability.

With the score now at 9-153, and the skipper demoting himself to last bat this week trying to avoid the lively pitch, (but more likely because everybody else was better then him), strode out to the crease to meet Nilesh, who at that stage was more keen to know what the latest score with the 'Kardashians' was, being a huge fan - as we all are. With the Nepotists being such a positive team, not only did we think we could win the match, but also still have time to send Hampton Wick back in again and get the extra bonus point for being complete dickheads.

200 runs would seem a respectable score at that stage, which still seemed a long way off, but as the match continued towards it's seemingly obvious conclusion, and with the 2 batsmen nudging, nurdling, laughing, crying, resetting the oppo field, telling Michael Jackson jokes to the keeper, tripping the bowlers on their run-ups, picking each others nose and flicking it at the fielders, it was becoming increasingly obvious that the oppo was getting confused as to which sport they were actually playing; and realising that we could possibly get close to their score, and dare I say it.... win. Win, there you go, I said it (although I really only typed it).

Well if you hadn't already guessed (not that you needed to, as I told you in the first sentence), WE WON - unbelievable! An unlikely 86 run unbroken partnership had ruined the bartender's day, and he was now stuck with 5 tapped kegs that will have now have to be consumed by their 'Colts' at the next home game.

The NACA vote was a brutal affair, with virtually everybody being nominated, but ones of note were: English debutant Josh Prior for having a hairstyle like Nepo all time wicket taker (and ex-World Record holder- still can't believe that) Mr Rik; Nilesh Thacker for the event mentioned above; Jim Eaton for directions abuse; everybody who nominated me (and that was everybody); then finely your humble correspondent, who unfairly donned the NACA jacket and hat for exactly the same reason that Andrew Nisbet had won it for in the previous week, and which I went on and on about, (ie) hole in the crutch of cricket trousers. Strange how I own both sets of strides!

Anyway, the Nepo machine rolls on, and truly are a team this year that bat down to 11
- as 'Spinal Tap' would say. (Anyone get that?)

We are the mighty Nepotists. (Scorecard)

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Nepotists v Highgate   (Report by Steve "Wezza" Werren)   30 May 2011

Another big win for the Nepo's yesterday at Highgate. This makes four on the trot now, with the Nepotists certainly a force to be reckoned with this year. The weather was looking a bit dodgy with rain forecast around 4pm, so the Nepo's decided to win the toss and bowl first based on 3 factors, 1) So we wouldn't have to stand out in the rain later on when the heavens opened up, 2) The oppo skipper said will just use one ball for both innings, and 3) So we could watch the live telecast on Sky of the 'All London Fingering Championships'.

With the sun shining at that stage, the Nepo's bowlers took on the task of trying to reduce the oppo to only 15 runs in total. But after it was suggested that this was an unrealistic target, we set our sights on having them all in the pavilion for 219 runs after 35.2 overs, which is precisely what happened. (Nepotism is an exact science these days). 2nd game Nepotist Jim Eaton (Eng) was the star with the ball, taking out the top 3 batsmen with 8 overs of unplayable in-swingers, eye gouges, and short sharp 'Rabbit Punches' to the kidneys when the umpire wasn't looking. This is the first time we have seen this tactic used for the Nepo's since the days of Ron Elliot (Albino Chinese) and Keith Scott (Equatorial Guinea), but obviously still works in the modern era. Nilesh Naidu (NZ) actually ended up with the 2nd best figures of the season so far, taking 4-40, including that Nepo favourite of the wide full toss, resulting in catches deep on the leg side - never fails.

After our marvellous Thai tea, and 20 minutes of praying to Buddha out of respect to the chef, there was doubt whether the 2nd innings would actually get under way with light rain falling. The two skippers got together and decided to give it a go for 30 mins to see if the rain eased up. Well it did, and the Nepo's took advantage of the conditions, chasing down the runs with more then 8 overs to spare. 5 of the top 7 once again got amongst the runs with the following scores in batting order. Carl Hoar (Eng) 28, Nilesh Thacker (Ind) 28, Jim Eaton (Eng) 32, Josh Prior (Eng) 45, Shanna Khan (Ind) including shot of the day, and the 'Ants in the Pants' award for excess energy 41.

There was only one winner of the NACA, and that was Jim Eaton (Eng), with his Tim Philips (Aus) like appealing for LBW's that were anywhere within half a meter of the stumps (or the clubhouse), and Bomber Dale (Mars) like disgust when they were unbelievably not given out.

The Highgate lads were probably the best bunch of guys we've come up against so far this season, and played in a similar vein to the Nepotists (ie) varicose, so will definitely keep them on the fixture list.

The Nepo's 2011 are still yet to be bowled out this season, so how long will this winning last - time will tell? (Scorecard)

This week will be a good test for the current team as we head over to Willesden in NW London to take on South Hampstead. For those who played in last year's classic win, they will remember the Nepo World Record opening partnership by Lukey Sparrow (Aus) and Nehal Kirmani (Aus) of 236no against a strong opposition. You can be sure South Hampstead will be out for revenge this year. The question is, will we see the two stars from last year back in the lime, green and magenta colours to renew their partnership. I shall be expecting Sparrow to fly in from Oz just for this game (I'll pick you up at Heathrow mate) - what about you Nehal?

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Nepotists v South Hampstead   (Report by Steve "Wezza" Werren)   05 Jun 2011

It's amazing how many times history repeats itself in sport. Last year the Nepo openers broke the World Record opening partnership against South Hampstead with Nehal Kirmani (Aus) scoring a magnificent 147 runs not out. Well yesterday at the same ground, an almost identical situation occurred. Only problem it was the South Hampstead opener who scored 147. The difference between the two 147's was that Nehal's was a well constructed innings over 40 overs, whereas the South Hampstead batsman scored his in 16 overs, with his century coming up after just 6.5 overs!!! Probably the quickest hundred ever seen at any level.

Apparently he doesn't even bat up the order, as he is their 1st team opening bowler. He was one of those guys who could just as easily be out for a duck, as he went for every ball, and I mean every ball; getting dropped twice along the way and skying balls that repeatedly fell in between fielders, but still impressive none-the-less, with such clean hitting. I guess every dog has it's day. But for the neutral, it would have been fantastic to watch from the sidelines.

So after 10 overs and the oppo score on 139-0 and going at 14 runs per over, I did a quick calculation in the only part of my brain that can count passed 10, and figured out that if they keep up this rate for 40 overs, we would be chasing around 560 runs - I realised then we could be in a spot of bother. However the bowlers dug in and were able to bowl South Hampstead out for a very getable 386 runs - getable if we had extra 20 overs that is!

With the Nepo batsmen having a premium year to date with run chases, talk over 'tea' was that we would give it a go and you never know with the Nepo line-up batting deep these days. But maintaining a run rate of around 9.5 runs an over for 40 overs would be a big ask. The Nepo's did chase down 318 against Streatham & Marlborough in 2008 where Max Walker & Daisy Atkinson put on a then World Record opening stand of 205, but 368 runs would possibly be a bridge too far. One thing we do know, is that it is probably the highest score against any Nepo team - in my time anyway. However, in the end it was all a moot point, as halfway through the second over of the Nepotists innings, the heavens opened up and the match was abandoned. Guess we will never know.

There were some good points to come out of the match.
1) None of the bowlers went for a ton - just!
2) The Nepo's have still never lost a wicket against South Hampstead in the 2 matches played to date.
3) The team's winning streak is maintained.
4) It had no effect on the price of eggs.
So some positives. (Scorecard)

This week we head back down Chiswick way in West London for the game against Ealing Wanderers, which if you recall, provided one of the great Nepotists comical moments in our short history during the final game of last season. (Match report from 2010)

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Nepotists v Teddington   (Report by Steve "Wezza" Werren)   19 Jun 2011

The Nepotists finally got the monkey off their back by taking the prized scalp of the powerful Teddington line up at Bushy Park yesterday afternoon, and at the same time extending there unbeaten run to 5 games. Having overcome their biggest obstacle of the season to date, team 2011 now have their sights firmly set on the 30 year Nepotists World Record for consecutive wins, currently held by the all conquering 1981 Nepo's, and stands at 7 wins on the trot. This was a mighty effort, considering all the games back in those days were 'Time' games. The team back then was skippered by the first man to ever to face a ball in anger for the lime, green & magenta, Steve Jones.

Equally impressive is the most 'wins in a season' World Record put together during the 1992 season skippered by Aussie run machine and 'stocks' guru Bruce Jackson (Motley Fool), where they achieved an amazing 16 wins out of 21 games played, (76% win rate, as well as 6 wins in a row). Again virtually all 'Time' games, which is an incredible stat in itself, and unlikely to ever be beaten. Although this year's team is going well at present, it will be hard to maintain that sort of win rate over the whole season. (Team results 1980-1999)

Anyway, back to the game in hand. With constant rain all week, and moisture still in the air (again), Teddington won the toss and sent the Nepo's in to bat (match reduced to 35 overs). Their opening bowlers were a real handful, swinging the ball both ways and making batting difficult. The outfield was slow and a score of 200 would look to be competitive. The Nepo's fell well short of this, posting only 177 for the loss of 5 wickets (first score of less then 216 all season), but maybe defendable on this particular day. Carl Hoar (Eng) was back to his mercurial best (sorry Ed for stealing your line), hammering the Teddington bowlers all over the park for a hard fought innings in the conditions of 74. Helping hands with the bat were contributed by the ever consistent Chris Ellegard (NZ) 31, Merwin Fernando (NZ) 19, and Shanna Khan (Ind) 14.

By the way, talk on the oppo lips throughout the afternoon was of the notorious 'Stoney Robinson/Chiropractor/leg humpy by local dogs' incident, which took place at last year's game. A large crowd had turned up yesterday with their camera's, hoping to see a repeat performance that would allow them to post their unedited video on 'YouTube', and put them in the running for the the 'Pervert of the Year' award donated by disgraced US Congressman Anthony Weiner; which incidentally comes with a 12 months free subscription to the 'Big Brother' style cameras Stoney has since installed in his house to promote his new found 'Libertarianism' ideology. For your info Stoney, one of this year's full time Nepo's (Shanna Khan) is also a Physiotherapist, so you may want to reconsider your availability for future matches. (Match report from 2010)

After tea the Nepo's went out to defend this small-ish total knowing that not leaking unnecessary runs would be crucial to their chances. With that great outfield prowling Legend Philip Challinor (Eng) in the field for the first time this season, the oppo knew at the outset they would have to work hard for their runs. This proved to be the case when Phil took probably the best catch of the season so far, when fielding in close at Short Cover, the batsman drove one straight at him at about a million mph, which remarkably stuck somewhere in between Phil's eyebrows and big toe, no-one knows. Whilst we all looked towards the boundary, assuming the ball was continuing on it's trajectory, Phil also checked that he didn't have a hole through his body like Goldie Hawn in the movie 'Death Becomes Her'. The ball was never found, so we can only assume that it was somewhere inside Phil's body and the call was 'out'. Monday morning in Phil's bathroom, will reveal all. The batsman trudged off, a replacement ball was called for, and the match continued.

It was a very professional bowling performance all round, with Ed Greening (Wal) producing the best figures by any bowler in the past 2 seasons, 5-34 off 7 overs, using an array of flight and guile with his unusual leg-off spinners to dazzle the batsmen (still not sure which one he bowls). The big man, James Culley (NZ) also had his best spell of the season, setting it all up by bagging 2 important wickets at the start of the innings with huge off cutter's at pace, shattering the oppo wickets on both occasions. Eventually Teddington were bowled out for 120 after 27 overs, so a memorable win for the Nepo's. The NACA went to Carl Hoar, and for an undisclosed sum I have been persuaded not to reveal the details why! (Scorecard)

Next Sun we are in Wembley (not far from the Stadium) against new fixture list entrant 'Old Manorians'. But the great news is that the ground is only 1 minute from my house, so it better not rain this week! Could I have you availability (or unavailability) by Wed 2pm please.

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Nepotists v Old Manorians   (Report by Steve "Wezza" Werren)   26 Jun 2011

Well I was the toast of the curry house on Sun night after scoring my 100,000th run for the Nepo's (which if I played say 20 games a year over 20 years, works out at around 250 runs per game, every game, but who's counting). It was an unusual situation that brought about this feat, which had people at the ground feverously reaching for the rule books. Basically what happened (in my version of the game), was that as I was walking out to bat, and feeling extremely the worse for wear from Pant's Crocker's backyard Beerfest the day before (which is the only true part of the story), I got slightly disorientated and walked onto the wrong pitch, where a completely different game was being played.

As you know, all cricket players look the same, and since it was our first game against Old Manorians, how could I be expected to tell the difference. It was one of those freak instances where the two adjourning matches both lost a wicket at the same time. Anyway, I had a reasonable innings of 30 runs debuting for Sudbury Court CC, which was enough to give me the 35 runs I needed to reach the 100,000 run mark. There was a slight dispute after the game, but on checking the MCSEE rule book, apparently if the runs are scored within 100 metre's of the original pitch, although in a different game, it can still be counted in the original game. So it was samosa's all round at the 'Karahi King'. Lucky I had the rule book on hand, as who would have ever heard of that.

So on to the real cricket match, which resulted in the another fine win for the good guys (6 in a row now). On a scorching hot day of around 30 degrees, Old Manorians won the toss an batted first, but were bowled out by the Nepo's for 130 runs in 29 overs. The Nepo's chased this down in 23 overs losing 5 wickets along the way. New English debutant Mick Stout (which he claims he also drinks) was the star of the day, taking 2-10 with the ball, then backing that up with a hard hitting 41 no; so another valuable playing asset the Nepo's have picked up this season. With a POM count of 5 in the team this week, it's the first time I can remember for many years (except tour) where the home country was in the majority of players for one match. This unhealthy situation will need to be seriously addressed at the next AGM! (Scorecard)

But the big news on planet Nepotists next week, is the availability and first game of the season for the only human ever to be born fully grown, but who's brain remains in a constant state of pre pubescent development. Yes, you guessed it, the one, the only, Mr PP Travel himself, Bomber Dale; who has signed up for next Sun rescheduled game against Ealing Wanderers in Chiswick. Bomber is flying in specifically for this match in an attempt to tighten up his bouncers for the Oxford tour in Aug. With most of the current Nepo's not having met Bomber before, I had to spend the the whole tea break against Old Manorians explaining to the new guys what he is all about. At the end of my spiel, the general conversation was 'this guy sounds like an idiot', which was confirmed by the one's there who do actually knew Bomber. I also thought it wise that I demonstrate Bomber's bowling style to the newbie's, so they don't break out in gut wrenching laughter next week during the game when they view it for the first time; which could be seen as disrespectful to the oppo.

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Nepotists v Ealing Wanderers   (Report by Steve "Wezza" Werren)   03 Jul 2011

The Nepo's unbeaten run of six games finally came to a grinding halt at Ealing Wanderers yesterday. All good things eventually come to an end, but it was a great run guys and I'm very proud of you all, so let's see if we can beat it during the rest of the season.

With the skipper once again losing the toss and being sent in to bowl, a plan was set in to motion to unsettle the opposition from the very first ball. So in an unprecedented move, Bomber Dale (Aus) was thrown the new ball to give the Ealing boys a false sense of security, whereby they would feel so relaxed at seeing Bomber's lollypops coming down the wicket in the first over, they would perhaps throw their wickets away. With Bomber instructed to bowl off his long run up (ie) from the sightscreen, the batsman wasn't quite sure was was happening, but when he turned around and saw the keeper with 5 slips and 4 legs slips fielding one metre in front of the sight screen at the other end, he decided that batting with just a baseball cap on might not be wise, and called for his helmet to be brought out to the centre from the changing rooms.

When Bomber eventually got around to bowling his first ball after a lot of fluffing around with field changes by moving guys from 2nd slip to 2nd leg slip etc, he eventually commenced his run-up. 10 minutes later he finally reached the crease and the first ball of the match came out his hand. 10 minutes later the ball eventually reached the batsmen, which had resulted in him changing his mind 5 times before deciding what shot to play. After that first ball the oppo batsmen immediately took his helmet off, replaced it with his cap, and called for a psychiatrist to help him get through the rest of the days play. The tone had been set.

The Nepo's bowling was quite tight for the first three quarters of the match, having the oppo at 9-199, but got taken to the hammer in the closing stages, with their last wicket taking 36 runs off the final few overs; which ended up being the difference at the end of the day. Chris Ellegard bowled an unbelievable first 4 overs which resulted in 3 maidens, 1 wicket and just 1 run, but we won't talk about the his last few. Bomber Dale did his usual routine by being pasted in his first 4 overs, and then picking up 3 wickets in his last couple, to end up with the best figures of the day at 3-35 off 7 overs. The great sight when Bomber bowls is of course the reaction of each batsmen as they trudge back to the changing rooms, smashing their bats on the ground, yelling abuse at themselves, thinking this was probably their best chance ever to get 300 runs. Haven't we seen it all before?

So a target of 236 runs was set. This didn't phase the Nepo batsmen as they had quite comfortably passed this score many times during season, so were feeling quite relaxed after tea. Unfortunately with Carl Hoar being caught first ball, the rot had set in early and continued for the rest of the innings with the highly fancied Nepo batting line up all being dumped by the wayside. The star batsmen was this year's 'Mr Consistent', Merwin Fernando (NZ) with a magnificent 78no and batting through the innings to always keep the Nepo's in contention. Once again Merwin showed what a valuable acquisition he has been to the Nepo's since he was plucked from having his head stuck in a barbed wire fence on a sheep farm in lower Stuart Island earlier this year.

The Nepo's had memories of the victory against Hampton Wick in May (which had resulted in a Nepo World Record) as the skipper came out to join Merwin and the 9th wicket down. With the score at 8-117 it would require another WR of over a hundred runs to get the Nepo's home. Unfortunately when Steve Werren (Aus) was caught for 31, the 9th partnership of 70 runs was not enough to get close to Ealing, but was always up with the run rate. Then as predicted Bomber Dale came in at no.11, scored 1 run, was given out LBW, then proceeded to argue with the umpire for 5 minutes after the match claiming it couldn't have been out, showing him the mark where he claimed the ball hit him on the forehead. On closer inspection the umpire noticed light of day coming from the back of Bombers skull and concluded it was a natural hole in the head, so felt vindicated with his decision. This along with the fact that Herr Dale had also argued with the umpire all day when he was bowling, claiming he should of had at least 15 LBW's, was enough to ensure that the man from Melbourne received the NACA for the umpteenth time! So the Nepo's were bowled out for the first time this season for 190 and was also the first loss for the lime, green and magenta in over 2 months.
(Scorecard)

Next Sunday we are up against Northfields at South Ealing, and with the seasonal unavailability starting now, it's a good time to get a game in. I'm off to fleece Bomber company at the Running of the Bulls in Spain on Tue morning (14th year in a row), but will still have email access while I'm down there. But it would be ideal if everybody got back to me by Tuesday morning, so I can put the team out before I leave, and be done with it; as my brain may not be fully functional while I'm away, especially if there is a big bull's horn stuck in my ear! Otherwise the usual Wed deadline.

Remember there is no scheduled game the week after the Northfields match because of the Nepo golf tour to Devon. Carl has suggested putting a team out regardless, so if you are interested in a game that weekend (17 July) let me know and I'll organise one before I head off to Devon. The sooner the better.

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Nepotists v Northfields   (Report by Steve "Wezza" Werren)   10 Jul 2011

The Nepotists got their season back on track yesterday in West London with a convincing win over Northfields CC. The start time was moved forward almost an hour for some reason, resulting in the delay of Mr Rik (Eng) to the ground, who at the time was chairing the London chapter of the dating website 'eHarmony', and was not prepared to leave early and miss out on any opportunities. When interviewed by nepotists.com during the convention about the Nepo's chances against Northfields, he commented that "playing cricket is just another avenue to getting laid. You ain't seen nothin' yet, wait till you see me on tour"; which brought smiles and nodding agreement from the gathered paparazzi in attendance, who have already instructed ex News Of The World staff to follow Mr Rik in Devon this week to have their lead story when the paper re launches later this year.

Northfields batted first and got off to a tremendous start, scoring 119 off the first 20 overs for the loss of just 1 wicket, and the Nepotists at that stage were looking at chasing a score well in excess of 250. But it definitely was an innings of two halves, when after drinks, there was a complete collapse by Northfields which left their total after 40 overs at 9-194. Quite a remarkable change in fortunes. The Nepo's of course tried to keep them in the game, by putting down 7 chances in total, but redeeming themselves by taking 7 catches as well.

As much as it pains me to say this, but in the interests of a fair press, Mr Rik rolled back the years and was the definite star of the Nepo bowling innings taking 4-33 off his allotted 8 overs, which are the second best figures of the season by anyone this year. In fact if it wasn't for a dropped catch off his last ball, which would have given him a '5 for', it would have been the best figures by any Nepotists for the past 2 seasons. It was probably as good a bowling performance by the veteran Nepo World Record holder (547 wickets) as he has bowled in the past 10 years, dropping every ball on the spot, with all batsmen having trouble getting him away. (Excuse me, I'll be back in a few minutes, as I need to go buy a replacement keyboard, as I have just smashed this one against the wall). With Nilesh Naidu (NZ) shooting to the top of the bowling averages and most wickets taken stats by claiming 2 wickets for a miserly 5 runs, competition is fierce amongst the Nepo bowlers for the free trip on the next shuttle to the space station on offer to the winner. Utility player Shahna Khan (Ind) also took 2 prized wickets (as well as having a couple of catches dropped), once again proving what a valuable addition he is to the Nepotists this year by opening both the bowling and the batting, (scoring 29 runs).

After tea the Nepo's got off to a bad start by losing Carl Hoar (Eng) in the first over by chasing one that would have been called a double wide, but a 2nd wicket partnership between Merwin Fernando (NZ) and Shahna Kahn of 51 runs set the Nepo's up for their eventual victory on a very difficult wicket. What more can be said about Merwin, who is this year's star batsmen. The young man from Auckland just continues to impress week after week, and batted through the whole innings with a glorious innings of 84 out out. This is two weeks in a row that Mervin has carried his bat through the innings, which must be some kind of Nepo record in itself. Surely a century is just round the corner, as he just keeps running out of overs. His innings, along with 34 not out from the Nepo's other consistent batsmen, Nilesh Naidu, resulted in a 4th wicket partnership of 101 not out for the two Kiwi's, (oops, there goes the keyboard again), and now stands as the best partnership for any wicket this year.

But once again the Legend's showed the Young Guns how the game should be played with Philip Challinor (Eng) coming to the crease at number 4, and producing an array of shots to all parts of the ground, that had the neutral's in the crowd commenting how unfair it was that ex professionals play in a friendly match. Phil, playing the best innings that I have seen from him, produced at least 3 magnificent cover drives to the boundary, which combined the classic Bradman style technique of bending down on one knee, then holding the pose for at least a minute each time the ball raced away for 4, obviously hoping to get a photo in Mr Rik's upcoming exposé. His innings was unluckily cut short on 18 runs by holding the pose a little too long after having a slash at the ball and not noticing the ball rolling back onto his stumps. Mr Rik was celebrating. The Nepo's eventually chased down Northfields score and ended up on 3-198 and with 11 overs to spare. (Scorecard)

So after 11 weeks of the season completed, and 8 more weeks to go, the Nepotists continue to top the table with 7 wins, 2 losses, and 2 washouts. It will be a miracle now for any of the opposition to catch us.

 

 TEAM

 PTS

 

 Nepotists

  14

 

 Barnes

   2

 

 Ealing Wanderers

   2

 

 Harrow St. Mary's

   0

 

 Hampton Wick

   0

 

 Northwood

   0

 

 Highgate

   0

 

 South Hampstead

   0

 

 Teddington

   0

 

 Old Manorians

   0

 

 Northfields

   0

 

 Epsom

   0

 

 Shepperton

   0

 

 Rotten Livers

   0

 

 Nine Bar

   0

 

 Post Modernist

   0

 

 Hampstead

   0

This week there is no game due to the Nepo golf tour to Devon, so I will expect all the regular team players to be in the gym and at nets to keep in tip top shape for the next game against probably our best opposition (and best pitch we play on) in the form of Epsom in 2 weeks time.

All this season's stats are up to date, so if you want to check them out, click here and have a browse around the site.

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Nepotists v Harrow Weald   (Report by Steve "Wezza" Werren)   24 Jul 2011

It was so, so close to another Nepotists World Record this season against Harrow Weald on Sunday. The outstanding opening partnership in 2010 between Nehal Kirmani (Aus) and Lukey Sparrow (Aus) of 236no against South Hampstead, was on the line as Sunday's opening pair of Carl Hoar (Eng) and Shahna Khan (Ind) fell just 12 runs short of that figure before it all ended on 224 runs off just 34 overs; but now stands as the 2nd highest partnership for all wickets in Nepo history. It was certainly a partnership of two halves, as the players were watchful of the Harrow Weald quickies, scoring just 57 runs off the first 16 overs at a little over 3.5 runs an over. Then the word came down from the skipper to go berserk, and go berserk they did, piling on 167 runs in the next 18 overs at a run rate of almost 9.5 runs per over.

It was a real treat to watch from the sidelines as the ball disappeared to the boundary and over the sightscreen two to three times each over, with one humungous shot going straight up and coming back down with snow on it, resulting in the catcher being frozen solid within seconds, and having to be sold off to Pinewood studios as a 'prop' for the next Steven Spielberg adventure. Fortunately the catch was deemed not to have been securely held, so we all had a good laugh and the match continued with Harrow Weald now one man down, but with a much better match fee from the 'stiff' then they had anticipated. The partnership finally came to an end with Carl finishing on 83 runs and Shahna compiling the seasons top score to date of 131 runs, which included exactly 100 runs in boundaries and sixes. The Nepotists now have there own Sachin Tendulkar in Shahna, albeit about 15 years younger, so still room for improvement.
(Photo of the two master blasters)

The Nepotists finished on 4-251, then took to the field minus their 3 regular opening bowlers, who were all unavailable this week through death, but on the mend for next week. Harrow Weald made a great start, and at the drinks break were 2-125 off 20 overs requiring roughly 6 an over to overtake the Nepo score, and were favourites at that stage. But the introduction to the bowling attack of Shahna with pace and taking 1 valuable wicket and miserly with runs, and Carl with accurate darts on middle stump every ball, collecting 3 wickets, slowed the run rate down to the point where Harrow Weald needed about 10 runs an over off the last 10 overs, or 100 off 1 over if the match was reduced to one over because of bad weather, but at 24 degrees, the sun shining and blue skies, that was unlikely. They were eventually bowled out for 221, so a another great win for the Nepo's, with Carl and Shahna being the stars of both innings

The match was marred by a series of ugly incidents which made it the most ill tempered match the Nepotists have played in in recent years since the Bomber Dale 'trouble maker' days. Several times during the afternoon the Nepo skipper had to address both teams to remind them that it was only a Sunday friendly and not a Nathan Coleman bash fest. The trouble all revolved around both teams taking umbrage at what they saw as dubious umpiring decisions, and at one stage almost came to blows between the oppo umpire and one unnamed Kiwi left arm spinner, which was soon resolved diplomatically when the Nepo skipper took aside the said spinner and head butted him in the name of cricket (well he should have anyway).

At the curry house after the match, I took a different approach with my tall stories to the illegal workers there, electing for the first time in 20 years to make claim to a bad day at the office. So basically my day at cricket went like this. I opened the innings (on my own) and was out first ball 'hit wicket', while batting a metre in front of the crease and playing forward using one of those new 'long' bats, which strangely they'd never heard of. This was compounded by the fact that I was taken for 165 runs off just 6 overs before being taken off. This brought total silence to the Karahi King, which obviously caused much heartbreak and disillusionment to the adoring fans. Unfortunately, the plan back fired and the 'tip' I normally leave after the meal was accepted (normally refused). I have a lot of work to do now to get back that £1. (Scorecard)

So the win puts the Nepo's at 8-2 in the wins-loss column this season with 2 washouts, so a marvelous effort so far. Next Sunday we had a spare date which I was going to fill with a new oppo, but Hampton Wick approached me a couple of weeks back when they saw the spare date on the Nepo website. They were gutted by our World Record last wicket partnership back in May, which won an incredible match, and want revenge; so a rematch has been organised at their lovely ground in Richmond.

With only 6 weeks of cricket left this season (7 games including Oxford weekend on 20-21 Aug), could I have your availability by Wed please.

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ISIS Tournament, Oxford   (Report by Steve "Wezza" Werren)   21 Aug 2011

TOUR DIARY

After the heartbreak of losing last year's ISIS Trophy Final on the penultimate ball of the match, the Nepotists reversed the result this year, winning the Final on Sunday against The Post Modernists in the very last over of probably one of the best games the Nepo's have played in recent times. With more then 500 runs scored in an afternoon between the two teams, it was a game of high quality cricket, only bettered by the appearance of the three 19 year old Oxford University girls who got lost on their way home and accidentally strolled into the tournament's after match festivities on Sat night; much to the delight of the four teams in attendance, who at that stage could not walk, talk or communicate in any sensible format. The girls didn't stay long.

Sat, 20 Aug 2011
The day started with overcast skies and the likelihood of rain at some stage. Not deterred, a quick phone call to 'Huey the Surf God', who was vacationing up the river, soon sorted things out and the show got on the road. The draw was promptly rigged by organiser Woody making sure that they didn't play us in the first game, and we were thus cast to compete against 'Nine Bar', who were making the trip down from Leicester, leaving Norm from 'Cheers Bar' to lock up. The Nepotists won the toss and decided to be sent in to bat, having already reached the semi final at that stage by virtue of the fact that there were only 4 teams competing. With a dazzling array of camera's and crew around the ground for the filming of Basher Balden's 7 yearly 'show off' (Up Series), the Nepo's, all freshly shaven and with clean underpants, commenced their innings.

It was a bit slow at the start with only 25 runs coming off the first 10 overs, but once the players were freshly fuelled from the feast at lunch, the rate escalated, scoring 99 off the last 10 overs with the Nepotists ending up on a total of 243-2 off their allotted 40 overs. The star of the innings was undoubtedly opener Carl Hoar who cracked an exhilarating 140no to bat through the entire innings, putting on a 113 run first wicket partnership with Nilesh Thacker (40 runs), then a 101 second wicket partnership with Merwin Fernando (36 runs).

At the commencement of the Nine Bar innings we were approached by Hollywood director Michael Apted to check if we would be prepared to participate in a 'pretend' over that didn't count in the match, so that he could get some close up shots of Basher bowling. After negotiating 'residuals' with our agents, both skippers agreed, which was followed by a rash a players heading off to the dressing room to make sure their hair looked alright - the filming began. There was a camera at backward square leg, one at long on, and my personal favourite, one about a metre behind me, and a bit to the right while I was 'keeping'. With the camera set on the ground behind me and the cameraman lying face down to get one of those fancy shots, I saw this as a great opportunity to contribute to the new 4D technology that is embracing the film industry at the moment. For those who don't know what 4D is, it is a combination of 3D film with 'physical effects' such as vibrating theatre seats, wind simulation, smells, etc. I opted for the smell option, where theatre goers are given a series of capsules that they break open when prompted on screen to simulate the smell of the action, and thus get the full effect of the movie (eg) pizza, explosives, death, spew, chunder, throwup, ralphing, etc.

So as I crouched down with Basher running in for his first pretend ball, I accidentally drove one home and dropped a loud smelly one right in front of the cameraman. This immediately brought shouts of 'cut, cut' from the said cameraman, who stood up and asked me "what the hell was that all about"? I just said to him that I was only trying to help. What's wrong with these people? Anyway, after 9 balls the film crew left the ground and the match continued as normal.

The Nine Bar innings, although getting off to a good start, could not keep up the run rate and were eventually bowled out for 172 in 36.5 overs. The Nepo's had once again made the Final. Chris Ellegard, who starred with the bat last year, was the star with ball this time around, bowling as tight a spell as he has ever bowled for the Nepo's with figures of 6.5 overs, 4 maidens, 5 runs, 2 wkts - very impressive! This was backed up by the Legend that is Mr Rik Andrew with 3 wkts, and Nilesh Naidu & Daisy Atkinson with 2 wkts each. Unfortunately under the pressure of performance, Basher Balden went wicket less, but still found time to sign autographs to the throngs of onlookers who couldn't figure out who he actually was, but thought he must be famous with all these cameras following him around. A real peoples person Basher, who doesn't mind mingling with the 'little' people. This was enough for the great man to claim the NACA after the game. Was it ever in doubt?

One thing I did notice, was that during all the filming Mr Rik always seemed to be standing next to Basher whenever he was on camera. I thought I was the only 'ham' in the team. This was obviously the director making sure that his camera lenses were Level 5 'shockproof'.

Saturday night was the usual soirée of 4 teams on tour, with 'Golf Ball' and 'Mr Freeze' being observed throughout the evening accompanied by the dulcet tones of 'Steve and his 50 Legged Centipede' (The goat got a better paying gig.) As is traditional, the Nepotists players were under strict instructions to 'Golf Ball' their next day Final opponents as often as possible throughout the evening to give them the 'edge' the next day. There was a new drinking game introduced this year by the Nine Bar crew, which involved everybody having to remove their feet from the ground whenever the words 'Shark Attack' were yelled out. This made Martin, the caretaker of the ground, laugh out so loud the next morning that his head fell off when he saw 5 demolished tables that had to bare the weight of around 8 cricket players each time the game was in play. Boys on tour!

Sun, 21 Aug 2011
Sunday dawned with heads being sort for, and then relocated on their correct bodies after a late night in Oxford town. There were various stories running around the camp of Kiwi Kiat Thoo's nightclub escapades the previous evening, which eventually won him a slam dunk NACA later in the day. Comparisons with the Funky Donnelly years on tour were being bandied about. The Nepo's were now into their 4th consecutive final, but still had last year's loss hanging in the back of their minds like a rabid dog wearing sunglasses at night. (Does that analogy make sense - oh well? What about this one. Ques: What's the difference between a duck? Answer: One leg's both the same. Explanation: Exactly) Anyway, the team were all too aware that to go down again in this year's final would mentally scar them forever, and put them in the same 'loser/choker' category as the 'All Blacks' are after every rugby World Cup that's been held in the past 20 years. (Had to get that one in! Only 2 weeks to scrum time boys - yahoo!)

The Post Modernists had drafted in 5 semi professionals just for this one game, so the Nepo's were well aware that they had a fight on their hands. Winning the toss again, the Nepo's elected not to field first (always confuses the oppo), feeling fairly confident that this year's strong batting line-up could knock up a decent score. With clear blue skies and glorious sunshine, the Nepotists were up against some pretty hostile bowling from the 'pro' openers and were only able to muster 27 off the first 10 overs, similar to the previous day. But again after lunch, the Nepo batsmen went berserk, scoring 106 runs off the last 10 overs, and in particular Mick Stout (72 runs) and Merwin Fernando (67 runs) scoring runs in double quick time, putting on a partnership of 138 runs, which fell just 5 runs short of a 4th wicket Nepotists World Record, (currently held by Messrs Bullough & Leckenby, set at Glastobury in 1992). With contributions from Carl Hoar (39 runs) and Nilesh Thacker (31 runs) the Nepo's were able to post their highest score of the season in reaching 256-4 off 40 overs. Tea was very satisfying.

The Post Modernists went out to bat, with the Nepo's getting off to a great start picking up 3 big wickets in the first 4 overs for only 21 runs. But like the Nepo's they bat right down, and a 4th wicket stand of 116 runs put the lime, green, and magenta on the back foot as runs were bleeding everywhere with the Post Modernists keeping up a solid run rate of over 6 an over - all that was required. Things got worse when that great Nepo clubman Buddy Hayes pulled his hamstring while furiously chasing one down in the outfield early on, meaning permanent slips duty for the rest of the day. As the game progressed towards it's conclusion, the match became really tight with the Post Modernists only requiring 21 runs off the last 3 overs, very gettable and now making the oppo strong favourites. The two Nepo opening bowlers were brought back into the attack to somehow perform a miracle. Chris Ellegard, as he had done all weekend, kept the Modernists to only 6 runs off the 3rd last over, as well as picking up a prized wicket, leaving 15 runs required off the last 2 overs with 2 wickets remaining - tight! The other Nepo great all-rounder, Shahna Kahn, only conceded an amazing 3 runs off the 2nd last over and also picked up the valuable wicket of man mountain 'Ox'.

The match was all setup for a grandstand finish. With 12 runs required from the final over, and with the Post Modernists star batsmen still at the crease, facing, and on 126no, it was anyone's game. Chris Ellegard then bowled probably the most important over in his 2 year's with the Nepotists, under extreme pressure, and with the fate of the team resting on his shoulders. It was a cracking over, conceding only 2 runs, and a big big victory to the Nepo's by 9 runs, leaving the oppo's professional batting coach stranded not out at the crease (and very p*ssed off). A truly amazing finish which robbed the Post Modernists of what should have been a regulation win considering the position they were in near the end. Basically what we did last year to lose!

After celebratory drinks, photo ops and gloating, the Nepotists left Oxford with their 4th ISIS Trophy in 7 years, ending one of the great performances in our short club's history.

We are the mighty Nepotists.

Scorecard (Semi Final)
Scorecard (Final)
Photos

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Twenty20 Big Bash, Chiswick   (Report by Steve "Wezza" Werren)   04 Sep 2011

The Nepotists finished the season off in style by taking their 2nd trophy of the summer and winning the Twenty20 Big Bash in Chiswick on Sunday. Chasing 139 runs for victory in the Final, the Nepo's tracked this down in 18 overs exactly, losing only 2 wickets in the process to register a comprehensive victory over Ealing Wanderers.

The star of the day was once again Merwin Fernando (NZ), batting through the whole innings with 2 broken legs and a pimple inside his left nostril; then refusing a 'runner', but instead opting for a 'granny walker' and still ending up on 79no, so quite a performance. He was backed up ably by new Bessborough recruit, Richard 'Eddie' Edmands, who piled on a quick fire 34 runs and 17 sandwiches over tea - almost taking Darren 'guts' Moulds 'I'm Stuffed' Nepo World Record. On hearing the news from Perth, big Darren confirmed that just last weekend he had sculled 3 hairy camels in a row while working in the WA mines, and was in tip-top match condition to take on all comers for his record.

The bowling honours on the day were shared between Shahna Khan and his identical twin brother Shahna Kahn, who both took 3-35 each with the ball - quite remarkable. Andrew Nisbet also chipped in with 2 valuable wickets and a cute 'blonde' while waiting at the bus stop after the game. But the big mystery of the day was "What happened to Danyal Ahmad", who disappeared just before the Final and said he'd be back in 10 min - never to be seen again. A tragic case of the 'Chiswick Triangle' taking another victim. (Team photo with winners medals) (Scorecard)

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Season Summary 2011   (Report by Steve "Wezza" Werren)   04 Sep 2011

And so ends the 2nd most successful season in Nepotists history with a win rate of 65% (1992, 76%); winning 11 matches and losing just 6 games. This is probably a testament to one of the strongest batting line-ups for many years, which can be witnessed with one glance of the batting averages, where only 7 players qualified, and all the top order batsmen averaged over 30 runs each, (eg) Steve Werren playing all 18 games and Nilesh Naidu playing 12 games, both failed to get out to the crease enough times to qualify (5 innings required). The team was only bowled out once, and lost on average just 5 wickets per match, taken over the whole season.

With the bat, Merwin Fernando (NZ) had a phenomenal season and walked in the batting awards with a well deserved average of 75.4, batting most weeks at number 3. Second and third place went to opener Carl Hoar (Eng) with an average of 43.1, and comical genius Shahna Khan (Ind), averaging 35.3. Carl and Shahna also cracked the top 2 scores of the season with 140no and 131 respectively. Carl scored the most runs with 647, just ahead of Merwin with 528.

With the ball, Nilesh Naidu (NZ), realising that he wasn't going to get much of a bat this season, decided to take the bowling figures instead, with an average of 18.8 runs/wkt, and also the most wickets taken at 20. Nilesh also proved what a great 'clubman' he is, by volunteering to forgo his batting position to others many times throughout the season, but still managed to average 47.3 with the bat, but as explained above, didn't get out enough to qualify. So a top season for the lad from Auckland to keep his spirits up over losing the soon to be held Rugby WC again.

Ed Greening (Wal) with an average of 20.2 took 2nd place, with Nilesh Thacker (Ind) (after the advice passed on by his 'missus' that he could actually bowl) claimed 3rd spot with an average of 21.5. Three players tied for 2nd place on the 'most wickets' taken column with 13 each; that being Ed Greening, Shahna Kahn and Chris Ellegard. Ed Greening had the best figures of the season with 5-34 off 7 overs, (the best for 2 years in fact).

The batting highlight of the season was probably Shahna Khan's brutal innings of 131 against Old Manorians, where he scored a hundred of his runs in 4's and 6's in what seemed like 3 overs. The bowling highlight for me was the last 3 overs bowled by Chris Ellegard (2 overs) and Shahna Kahn (1 over) against The Post Modernists in the Final of the ISIS Trophy at Oxford. The two 'quicks' restricted the oppo to just a miserly 11 runs when 21 runs were required for victory; and went a long way to winning the Cup. The funniest moment of the season had to be Nilesh Thacker's young 8 year old boy, Jai, batting for us at Hampstead when we only had 9 players; complete with full sized pads on and looking like 'Iron Man', running between wickets with the flaps whacking him in the face every step he took, sometimes knocking him over. We're a cruel lot here in Nepoland.

So it's a big big thank you from me personally to all the 42 players who donned the lime, green and magenta for the Nepo's this year. It was a very memorable season on many levels, not least because of 9 players being available for 2/3rds of the games, which made life for me a hell of a lot easier then last year where only 5 players were available for the same amount of the games. Although the last month of the season was a bit of a struggle (which is normal), generally the availability (and quality) was pretty good all season. Thanks also to the Nepo Legends for helping out in our moments of need, as you always do.

For a complete statistical 'Season Summary' and award winners, click here

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